When we let go of control and surrender, we are tapped into the universal flow, the Way of Magic. Oh, how easy does it sound! But let’s admit it - we loooove to be in control! Just in case the Universe didn’t have our backs. Just in case Spirit forgot about us. Just in case that something terrible would happen.
In 2015, right before the most intense part of my awakening started, I did a really beautiful trip. I was in a place in-between in my life and somehow didn’t have anything to lose because I was not projecting anything into my future. I landed in Tbilisi, met with a friend, and for two months we hitchhiked through Georgia, Armenia, Turkey, and the Balkans. That was the kind of life I often lived in my early and mid twenties, however this trip was the most memorable of that time.
There are those magical moments in life when we don’t have anything to lose, have no fixed plans and no need to control, and then everything just works out in ever-miraculous ways. I had a tiny backpack and a hitchhiking buddy with a tent. No plan, no fixed timeframes, no pressure.
We had a truly beautiful journey. We had no expectations so every day was an adventure taking us to a new place. Every night we would pitch the tent just wherever we happened to end up. Sometimes on church or monastery yards, other times in the bush next to the highway, or a beach, or a mountain top. We barely needed any money; each day we would gather a few coins to buy some veggies, bread, and rice which we would cook into delicious meals on fire. Many times we were invited to local homes for dinners and breakfasts, sometimes when least expected, like when we camped on the beach in a small Turkish village and the villagers started to compete over having us over for a meal (and we didn’t even speak the same language). There was a new surprise in store for us each day. We didn’t expect anything. We were just feeling free and happy and content with all our needs being met so abundantly with so little means. Like we just didn’t need more than a friendly stranger offering a ride, or a simple meal cooked on a fire enjoyed at a stunning sunset, or a midnight dip in the Black Sea.
I felt a lot of bliss and peace during that summer. It was fleeting but for a moment everything in the world was in the right place. Sometimes we ended up in the middle of nowhere walking on dirt roads far away from nearest villages and grocery stores and even then we found a way to be fine, or the way was provided to us by the Universe so effortlessly, just because any worries didn’t even cross our minds. One morning we woke up on a mountain top in Cappadoccia, unzipped our tent’s door, and lied there watching dozens of hot air balloons flying in the early morning sky colored with orange, purple, and pink hues. That’s the place where all the influencers go for photos and unique content, and we had the most luxurious view for free and in complete peace.
Now, life is not always that simple as sleeping in a tent and hitchhiking care-free in a beautiful country and buying a bag full of veggies and fruits with an euro or two, but it COULD be. We humans have a tendency to make things complicated. We have a lot of expectations for our lives, for ourselves, and for people around us. And we truly think we know what’s the best for us and thus we need to stay in control because otherwise... what could happen? Well, something very beautiful could happen. But we don’t even give it a chance.
Even if I was able to spend one summer without needing to have any control over anything because I simply had nothing to lose, I have had to go through a much longer journey of learning to surrender and not control anything whatsoever. It’s not easy. It’s much easier to forget how guided and protected we are and how safe and effortless life is MEANT to be. Actually I have had to lose pretty much everything I have ever had in life, because when you lose it all, and can’t have any of that what you think you want, you actually get to a place of not having anything to lose. And now, that’s freedom. If you have lost everything and got through it, you know how supported you are, and you know it all happened for very important reasons. You stop having specific expectations, because you realize that you actually don’t know at all what you need, but the Universe does, and is forever willing to deliver you that magic. It does, though, take tremendous trust and knowing that we live in a loving universe where we are meant to thrive by law.
Now it’s been over 8 years from that trip and I am in a similar place in my life, but not because I am in-between, but because I know who I am and I trust in the kindness of this Universe. My trauma is healed enough and my nervous system is relaxed enough for me to actually embody the knowing that I am held, no matter what happens. I have leaped to the unknown so many times that by now I know I will be caught. I don’t have many expectations, because I have learnt that my mental projections are simply projections. I live life from a place of BE-ing, most of the time in deep surrender and allowance, and that is what taps me into the Way of Magic. I don’t need anything to happen, yet I am open to be surprised.
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